i miss my jayson, terribly. it may seem that i'm barely even affected by this deployment but trust me i am. i HATE being away from jayson. we're not one of those weird couples who have to be together all the time and do everything together but we prefer to. jayson is truly my best friend i tell him everything and he tells me everything. i miss seeing his gorgeous face every day and kissing him and hugging him. i miss his smartass remarks and i just miss us when he is deployed. he was only home 9 months and we moved during that time so i feel like we barely got to see each other and then he was off again. i'm really hoping that he won't deploy again while he is here. he is supposed to be home a whole year before he goes out again and i don't see them sending him in the last year we're home because he'd be gone 6 months or longer and then come back and pcs. but you never know what the military will do.
i'm worried about my brother. my mom just got back from visiting him and she said his mental state has gotten worse. i've believed him to be schizophrenic since i was about 16 or so. i remember researching it in the high school library and ticking off all the symptoms that jeremy has. i love my brother dearly and worry so much for him. schizophrenics are some of the hardest to get into treatment because they don't see their delusions and parallel universes as fake. they think they are real that is what delusions are. i really would like to see him get some treatment and i do believe with treatment he will stay out of prison. jeremy has always been in his own little world. i just really really miss my brother and miss having a relationship with him.
i miss and worry about our neighbors back in ohio. my heart goes out to them so much and i really hate that i'm not able to help them through this tough and trying time in their lives. i'm finding that i honestly miss ohio in general. it became home and i knew that but didn't think it really was home for me. i miss our friends, our house, our cars, just knowing my way around and the variety of people, places and such. i never though i'd miss ohio as much as i do. i understand that i miss the people but i actually miss the place too. i also miss that we were only 6 hrs from jayson's family.
i'm crazy about jayson's family and miss them so much. they are such a small family unit but it is great! i miss texting and talking to my MIL. i also miss my SIL. she is so young but such a wonderful person to be around! i miss all their damn dogs too. i couldn't ask for a better set of in-laws for family. i don't even see them as in-laws. i don't think i ever really have. i get along with them greatly and just fit right in from the beginning even before we were married.
i'm just missing people in my life right now and need to write about it and get some of it out of me. i miss my dad a lot since moving here too. we had gotten to a great place in our relationship and i don't want it to get messed up by distance. i think as myself as a late to the game daddy's girl. i'm 27 and shouldn't be a daddy's girl but i so am. i'm crazy about my dad and wouldn't trade him for any other dad in the world. he has his faults and flaws but that is what makes him my dad and i absolutely love him!
i miss my mom too. i miss talking to her at least 3 times a day! yes i really did call my mom that often when we were in ohio. she and i are very close and she is my sounding board and i am one for her as well. i love the relationship my mother and i have with each other. its about respect and fun and most of all unconditional love. i know my mom would support any decision i ever made in my life. my mom and i laugh so much when we talk to each other! you ever read that website www.damnyouautotext.com? well that is how my mom and and talk when we're around each other and the craziest part is that we understand each other and don't even bother to correct each other. i miss laughing with my mom!
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