baby #2

i have my clomid!!!

now i just have to figure the time of delievery. i petitioned for the nursing program wait list on the 31st so i should start in the fall of 2011. i still have four or five, if i so choose, classes to take while waiting. i could time it to have baby #2 next june/july after finishing four of the classes. for that to happen have to get pregnant in sept/oct. this would be nice for me because my bday is in july!

or if i take the fifth class i could time it to have a sept/oct '10 baby. which means i would have to get pregnant in dec/jan. this would be good for jayson because his bday is in october and for both of us since our anniversary is in october as well.

or i could just throw all that out the window and make myself have a period with the npc and if i get pregnant this month have a jan baby! what do y'all think?

getting that aching feeling

well our wonderful neighbors, the best ones we have had in the air force, welcomed home their baby girl whitley claire a week ago. lucian have gone over the last few days to keep whitley's mama, caroline, some company while her daddy, chris, ran some errands. this evening i held whitley for about 10 or 15 minutes while she was sleeping and it was so wonderfully peaceful. i felt like a pro, lol, and just wished she was mine. after a while my wonderful, well behaved, little guy got jealous so i gave her back to her mama. before lucian got jealous he was so sweet and gave whitley two kisses! it was so sweet! a few minutes after whitley was back in her mama's arms she woke up and was ready to eat. i watched caroline breastfeed whitley and it was so beautiful and took me back to feeding lucian. since then i have just wanted to be holding another baby of jayson's and mine and feeding him/her. i was guiding caroline a bit through feeding whitley and explained to her that whitley is learning how to breastfeed as well and caroline admitted she hadn't thought of it that way. i am starting to ache for another baby and hoping that at the end of my progesterone therapy i will be pregnant. those who pray, please pray and those who send good energy and thoughts please do so.

as far as the therapy goes i am 2 days in and am having some weird moderate cramping today. i am really not sure what organ is cramping everyting is all squished together in there.

balance

alrighty so i have decided, as previously posted, that i am NOT going to take birth control to balance my hormones. i am taking some supplemnts, vitex, b6, b12, folic acid, evening primrose oil, cinnamon, and natural progesterone cream. i have been taking all of them except the npc for two weeks now. the npc is a specific plan. here are a few websites to check out about using npc to help balance your hormones, www.happypms.com, www.johnleemd.com, and here is one for free shipping if you decide to buy the npc, http://store.hmglobalmall.com/hapmsfrsh.html. the npc can be used by pretty much any woman.

according to the happypms website this is the projected plan of use:
Use 1/4 tsp. twice a day, days 8 thru 26 for two months. On the third month, use 1/4 tsp. twice day, the day following ovulation through day 26.

i am changing mine a bit because i don't think my pcos is so severe and also since i am using the other supplements and the major reason, my acne explodes when i use the cream. my plan is as follows:
use 1/4 2x daily cd 8-26 for the first month and then 1/4 1x daily cd 8-26 the second month, and the third month 1/4 1x daily after comfirmed ovulation through cd 26.

i am hoping these supplements will help me to ovulate and to have a 27-29 day cycle. i am also taking my temp every morning, that is how i will have a confirmed ovulation. after the third month i will stop the cream and give my body a chance to have a regular cycle on its own without the cream.

all that being said today is day one of the first month of the cream. no change so far but i didn't expect there to be. i have used the cream twice in the past to start my cycle and the only thing i ever noticed was bad acne and improved moods. i plan to update weekly.

lucian is 2!

thats right our baby boy is 2! he had a great little party with a few of his little friends over. he had a cupcake cake and some pizza. he got some really good presents too. his grammy (jayson's mom) and great-grandma got him a kid tough camera and some clothes. his gramer (my mom) got him an easle with a dry erase board and magnetic letters and numbers. his great-grandma and great-grandpa got him some puzzle books and some clothes and sent some money and with that money he got two shirts, two pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, and a red baseball cap. jayson and i got him a power wheels f-150. the little guy made out great for his bday!

as far as adding to the family, well we have decided to wait until i have my degree. that will be another 3-5 yrs. we just want to make sure we have the money and stability the next time around. however because of my condition, pcos, that causes my hormones to be inbalanced i am not going to be taking any birth control. with my pcos i don't have regular cycles and most of the time i don't ovulate. so there is no need take birth control. what i need to do is use herbs and a cream to in a sense turn off my ovaries so that they can heal themselves and hopefully work properly. i don't know how long it will take to balance my hormones.

i do want to share a baby dream i had last night. it was about a baby girl and of course she was our baby girl. she was so beautiful. she looked like me when i was a baby and had some of lucian's features as well. she had jayson's nose, which lucian has, and she had those big chubby cheeks like lucian. she also had a full head of lack spikey fuzzy hair. i know i had black hair when i was a baby. she was goregous and she was mine. i hope it was a dream about the future!!!

crafty

so here is what i have been working on. i got the pattern for jayson 6 years ago when he was deployed the first time. i was going to surprise him with it when he got home but that didn't happen. so now i am actually going to finish it. i have 1/4 of it done.

what i have done



what it will look like, sorry its blurry

health concerns

so there are few things going on at home and in my family. first off lucian has a mild speech delay. i'm not so sure how i feel about this. i can, however, name the emotions that have come with this, guilt, saddness, and so much more love for my little guy. i know a speech delay is nothing compared to what some little ones have but it still hurts. every mom wants their child to be perfect and develop normally too. he is fine in everyting else and may have compensated in his comprehension. so our next steps are to have his ears checked at the audiology clinic and i am calling the state program, help me grow, and they will send someone to our house to evaluate lucian and then they will take care of the speech therapy. his pediatrician says his delay is mild not sure how they measure the severity so maybe the state program can explain that to me. will keep everyone updated on this as it progresses.

next is my wonderful, man of few words, strong grandpa. he is the one steady man in my life besides jayson and lucian. he means so much to me and i am so scared about this. he started his radiation therapy this week. so far he has had three treatments. i'm sure he is scared too, i know i would be. i am with the rest of the family and hoping the cancer will go away and stay away. i am also hoping that the radiation won't make him too sick. i know he will get sick but i just don't want it to be horrible. i love my grandpa so much and just want him to be okay and to be around for quite a bit longer.

along with grandpa is my grandma. this woman is amazing and has had a HUGE impact on my life. she is having a few different problems with her back. also there is a concern with one of her kidneys. we are all hoping it is benign and will go away as well. i just want her to be healthy and be around longer as well.

i love my grandparents so much they mean the world to me and are wonderful grandparents and have always been my safe place. they don't push they just let me talk when i am ready. they both make me laugh and both have taught me great things in my life.

lucian's 2 year pics

went to sears yesterday and got his 2 year pics done. it took him about 20 mins to warm up but as soon as he did he turned on the charm, cuteness, and incredible blue eyes. they turned out great and i can't wait to pick them up on the 19th!! all the grandparents and great grandparents are getting the same 5x7 it is the first one.

now the gparents and aunt and uncles will get each of these as a wallet

this one is a close up of the face and the 2 isn't in the pic


okay now the rest of them

baby #2

we have decided that we are ready to have another baby! i know most of the moms from online know that already as well as my mom and dad. i don't think my grandma, granny, and doree don't know. right now things are kind of at a stand still because i just stopped my birth control last month. as of right now i am just waiting for my body to get over the shock of losing those synthetic hormones. i have read so many bad things about birth control and synthetic hormones that i won't be using them ever again. after we are done having children i plan to have my tubes tied. right now i am using some natural progesterone cream to get things going again and to kind of help my body get balanced again. i will definately keep everyone updated as things happen. i just ask that everyone not ask me how things are going with that. that is one of the things that stressed me out so much while we were ttc lucian. oh and also i still have my fertility medicine from lucian and i do plan to take them again to get pregnant with the next one.

as far as names go we already have them picked out. nobody take them please, ;)for a boy nikolai or nicholai, not sure yet, liam and for a girl aurelia suzanne. if we have a boy we will call him niko or nicho, depending on the spelling. it will sound like nee-ko and if we have a girl we will call her rea sounding like ray-uh. and of course all the other crazy nicknames we give him/her. lucian has so many nicknames but the main ones are lu, luie, boog, and weirdo. then there are variations of those.

please wish us good luck, pray, and think good thoughts! hoping for a late '09 baby!!

xmas fun

we had a great xmas as a family this year. jayson was gone last year so this year it was just the three of us and great. lucian really got into this year.

big yawn still waking up


opening books with dad


not so sure about the trike





opening presents






playing with daddy



he loves his new toys