health concerns

so there are few things going on at home and in my family. first off lucian has a mild speech delay. i'm not so sure how i feel about this. i can, however, name the emotions that have come with this, guilt, saddness, and so much more love for my little guy. i know a speech delay is nothing compared to what some little ones have but it still hurts. every mom wants their child to be perfect and develop normally too. he is fine in everyting else and may have compensated in his comprehension. so our next steps are to have his ears checked at the audiology clinic and i am calling the state program, help me grow, and they will send someone to our house to evaluate lucian and then they will take care of the speech therapy. his pediatrician says his delay is mild not sure how they measure the severity so maybe the state program can explain that to me. will keep everyone updated on this as it progresses.

next is my wonderful, man of few words, strong grandpa. he is the one steady man in my life besides jayson and lucian. he means so much to me and i am so scared about this. he started his radiation therapy this week. so far he has had three treatments. i'm sure he is scared too, i know i would be. i am with the rest of the family and hoping the cancer will go away and stay away. i am also hoping that the radiation won't make him too sick. i know he will get sick but i just don't want it to be horrible. i love my grandpa so much and just want him to be okay and to be around for quite a bit longer.

along with grandpa is my grandma. this woman is amazing and has had a HUGE impact on my life. she is having a few different problems with her back. also there is a concern with one of her kidneys. we are all hoping it is benign and will go away as well. i just want her to be healthy and be around longer as well.

i love my grandparents so much they mean the world to me and are wonderful grandparents and have always been my safe place. they don't push they just let me talk when i am ready. they both make me laugh and both have taught me great things in my life.